Kevin Shaw: Being The Useful Idiot

Because I’m too lazy to look up an actually credible source, according to Wikipedia, the definition of a “useful idiot,” and at least in modern political jargon, “is a term for people perceived as propagandists for a cause whose goals they are not fully aware of, and who are used cynically by the leaders of the cause.” And while this idiom has been bandied about quite frequently in this, possibly our nation’s most hotly contested and almost unilaterally disappointing election season, it also has applications well beyond the sphere of the politik.

These past two weeks have been particularly stressful for the editor of this particular personal watercraft enthusiast magazine. Not only have we launched two full-length feature articles on the 2017 reveals of both Yamaha and Sea-Doo, but were first on the planet to publish an article with the 2017 Kawasaki SX-R JetSki teaser video as well as publishing a world exclusive on the RIVA Racing Limited Edition GP1800R, all within the space of a dozen days. Toss into that traveling to a media exclusive hands-on event with the aforementioned ’17 Sea-Doos, and I’ve barely had time to breathe.

Above: Predicting the future isn’t easy. None of the PWC media saw Sea-Doo Trixx coming.

While penning the articles is by far the easiest part of the above, the months and weeks leading up to the public unveilings have been brutal. At no time has holding a secret from our readers been so difficult. Moreover, minding what I say in public and to friends has been equally unnerving. Yet, such is the nature of the job. If I want to be trusted with certain information and pictures, I need to abide by the established rules. I sign “non-disclosure agreements” vowing that I will not leak any information, images or other data prior to an established date and time.

Yet, many don’t abide by these tenets and consequently lose their privilege, and are left to wait for outlets such as The Watercraft Journal to “info dump” everything into the public arena (thereby making us not only a resource to our 300,000 annual readers, but other media outlets too, as it were). Yet, as many of you are keenly aware, we also publish quite a few predictions, leaks and teases that would contradict the above statements, right?

Above: Greenhulk.net’s Jerry Gaddis mastered the tailstand on the new ’17 Trixx at the Sea-Doo media intro in Tampa, FL this week.

The answer is yes, every now and again, we pick up a loose rumor or a bit of gossip that is very likely given other intel that we have. And typically, we share those in our “Vicious Rumors and Vile Gossip” columns. They’re titled as such because often, the likelihood of any published rumor is at best, 50/50 of actually wielding any sort of validity. Sometimes, it’s just the internal chatter and gossip within a company, or a persistent rumor being spread by overzealous dealers (although we try to take that with the subsequent grain of salt). But at times, the information shared has come directly from a manufacturer, and while you’d reason to believe that that information would be gospel, it often is the exact opposite.

In 2013, I was fed “inside information” that Kawasaki’s newest machine would be a “KX for the water.” That year, Kawasaki had made quite the fanfare of introducing the new KX450F with electronic “Launch Control.” The feature was essentially an ignition retard that dialed back throttle enough for the back tire to bite. Interestingly, aftermarket ECUs such as MoTec had such an option for watercraft, helping scrub cavitation when launching from a standstill. I, considering myself quite the sleuth, had deduced wrongly.

Above: Former “Watercraft World” staffer and “Boating” contributor Jeff Hemmel proved he still has the skills to knock off some sweet tricks (*”sweet tricks” not shown).

In my first “Vicious Rumors” article on the subject, I ballyhooed the idea of a 310-horsepower, traction-controlled machine, ideally based on the STX-15F with the Ultra powertrain. It was lightweight, nimble, already loved by racers, and characteristically in line with being the closest comparison to the KX in question. A second phone call from my source acknowledged my story, thanked me for it and shared another morsel of information, never once offering to correct any bit of my erroneous conclusion. This process carried on for a couple more weeks until the big day of the dealer meeting in San Diego.

The ski that came out was the Ultra 310R, which as many know, is a standard Ultra 310X with a short, stainless steering neck, an exposed set of motocross handlebars, and a textured seat cover. And as you know, no launch control. I was, effectively, irate. I clearly was being baited for several months, winding me up and letting me run loose to spew excitable tales to my audience, and believe you me, people were as excited about the news as I was to share it. Rather, upon the true reveal, the disappointment was palatable. And not just resulting in me being lambasted for my shoddy work as a prophet.

Whether I was being played as an inside joke, a type of litmus test providing the brand useful market research, or just an outlet to beat the drum for the brand for a few months is really immaterial. It was still on me to report on what I was given as best as I could. Not every putt sinks, nor does every shot hit the target. But I would rather share what I’ve got, try to extrapolate what the future meaning might be, and present it to you to judge. Heck, it’s why I call it “rumors and gossip” for a reason.

Go Get Wet,
Kevin