[All of this was written days before Yamaha effectively “broke the internet” with its retro ’27 WaveBlaster; and for what it’s worth, is all but completely wish fulfillment for guys like me and Greg Gaddis of Greenhulk who’ve been proselyting an industry-wide course correction back to smaller PWC since 2021 – and the others who’ve parroted my talking points since then. Admittedly, it would be impossible to compose this without mentioning the new ‘Blaster, but for this editorial, I’ll remain single-tracked. –K]
I was a kid when Kenny Rogers hit his peak of popularity. The venerable country star had come into the limelight both on his own with hits like “Lucille” and “She Believes in Me,” and in the occasional guest-starring duet like he and Dolly Parton’s “Islands in The Stream.” Quickly thereafter, Rogers appeared in leading man roles like “Lonesome Dove” and “Six Pack,” which all had accompanying hit songs (“Love Will Turn You Around” is a personal favorite). But of course, Rogers earned his place in the annals of country stardom with “The Gambler.”
To those old farts like me who know, the takeaway from the venerable tale of a down-on-his-luck professional gambler passing on his pearls of wisdom to younger player is that one needs to learn that timing is everything and when the occasion arrives, it’s OK to “leave a little on the table.” It’s this turn-of-phrase that has been haunting my thoughts since the recent reveal of the 2027 Sea-Doo Spark X.
Let’s back up. Many of you know that in addition to The Watercraft Journal, a large portion of my day-to-day business is operating Mopar Connection Magazine, a digital publication not unlike this one, but focused on classic and modern Dodge and Plymouth muscle cars. And if you are just as interested in this same topic, you would be equally if not somewhat familiar with the drama concerning Dodge’s ill-fated electric Charger Daytona and the recent Hail Mary pass of the 2027 Dodge Charger Super Bee.
To be completely transparent, the electric Charger was a direct response to crushing fines levied by the previous administration’s EPA against Dodge’s use of supercharged Hemi V8’s. Cancelling the Challenger and converting the Charger to electric was peak sacrilege for us enthusiasts, and was the catalyst for then President of Dodge, Tim Kuniskis to resign from his role. And alas, the electric Charger failed miserably; appealing to few if any, and receiving some of the worst reviews of any car in the past quarter century.
In an effort to right the ship, Kuniskis was lured back from retirement, given the role of CEO of Ram Trucks and an overseer role over Stellantis’ North American brands. Almost immediately, the Charger was fitted with Dodge’s 550-horsepower turbocharged inline-6, the Hurricane. Earlier this month (as of this writing), the Charger Super Bee was revealed with 600-horsepower and significant upgrades to both drivetrain and suspension, making the car a genuine performer both on the street as well as the track. Sounds good, right?
Well, sorta. Enthusiasts begged, pleaded and supplicated Dodge for a V8. Even rumors of a 5.2L (318 cubic inch) V8 were satisfactory enough to appease most Mopar-lovers – even if it wasn’t a Hemi. But no, the Super Bee received a cheekily-branded Hurricane dubbed the “Six Pack.” And while yes, 600-ponies is nothing to sneeze at, and the mid-11 second quarter mile times were legit, the car still lacked a V8, and that was the only damned thing people wanted from Dodge. Was it so stinkin’ hard to just give the people what they’re asking for?
This was the scenario playing in my head as I sat in the media presentation for Sea-Doo earlier this week. There I was staring blankly at a drab bluish-gray and charcoal black 3-up Spark. No unique graphics. No garish 1990’s colors. No MX-style handlebars or bolstered single-seat. No rip snortin’ 1630 spitting out 130-horsepower. The video clip showed two middle-aged women dressing up as pirates and frolicking in the surf. My eyes glazed over. The tiniest of “X”s hid beneath the lower quarter’s “Spark” call-out decals.
“What are you guys afraid of?” I bluntly queried James Heintz is Director of Global Product Strategy for Sea-Doo. James knows me. He knows I lack any sort of filter or semblance of social grace. He smirked, “We had to leave a little on the table.” $#&%!, I thought to myself. He can hear Kenny Rogers talking to me too. Had my inner monologue gotten loud enough for others to hear? James nodded at the large flat screen television displaying a Spark X at speed. “That hull was ready back in 2024. We wanted to time what got rolled out and when.”
I suppose I’m a bit of a Veruca Salt in that regard. (“But I want it now!“) The Spark X features an entirely redesigned hull, but also a heavily redesigned pump stator and venturi for increased thrust and better launches. I erroneously couldn’t see past the lacking 1630 when a completely re-engineered 1-liter 1000 ACE was purposefully developed for this exact machine. Sea-Doo made 110-horsepower the engine’s standard when it was the peak output of the outgoing Spark’s 900 ACE. As James hinted, “there’s a lot left on the table.
For years, I had expected Sea-Doo to lay it all out there, and they had no such plans to do so. “Go all the way or don’t do it at all,” I would preach on YouTube. Well, that’s not what one would call “playing the long game” and that’s what I think Sea-Doo is after here. They want something new to roll out every couple of years. And if a subdued Spark X that’s missing a few bits and pieces at the jump is that strategy, maybe I should trust it. Maybe timing is the key. It’s almost as if the ghost of that old card player continues to whisper in my ear, “Here’s an ace for you to keep…”
Go Get Wet,
Kevin
